Balancing Choice and Chance for Hope and Happiness
Mardi Gras Day is just past, and my challenge is how to retain the magic. What is this magic? I think in short it's being in the right place at the right time.
This year I designed a combination shrimp and mermaid costume – a "shmermaid" – intending to join one group of shrimp-themed friends early in the day and sea-lord friends later. I even used a plastic colander as a bustle to keep my pink tail perky.
In the end, I only found a few loose shrimp and never located my sirens and sea folk. Yet it was the best day ever, starting at dawn with Skull & Bones and ending at dusk in my neighborhood joint, Pal's. Throughout the day, I ran into all of my closest friends across the city – some more than once. All unplanned and unexpected. I never used my phone to locate anyone. Pure magic. Somehow my entire volleyball team, each having arrived independently, ended up assembled in front of Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop at the exact same moment. How did that happen?
Perhaps it was simply a community event, the greatest free show on earth? Everyone was out there – and yet, not really. I have clients who stayed inside and many who shy away from the crowds: too much trouble, too much traffic, no parking, a threatening weather forecast. Yet I was out there, open to see, to be seen, open to opportunities.
If I hadn't joked with the shotski team, I might have had another experience. If I hadn’t followed the DJ in the alien cart, I would have danced down another path. If I hadn’t struggled with my costume in that bathroom, I might have reached Bourbon and St. Philip too early, missing my friends entirely. All the tiny influences of the day placed me exactly where I needed to be for the magic to happen.
The Art of Letting Go
The first ingredient of Mardi Gras magic is the art of letting go. Some believe everything is predestined, yet chance plays a huge role in how our lives unfold. Many of us crave routines we can stick to. We want predictable days and nights, consistency, self-discipline, focus, and complete control.
Yet it's those tiny random influences that create a major impact. Chaos theory shows how small changes yield profound consequences over time. We can't control the weather or other people's thoughts and behaviors. Without wiggle room in our days, everything collapses in our quest for total efficiency. In our optimization obsession, we sacrifice necessary buffer zones. We become rigid in our thinking, attached to specific outcomes, brittle when plans inevitably crash.
Finding the Balance
How do we embrace uncertainty without surrendering to nihilism? What constitutes enough control? We want to explore, embrace adventure and satisfy curiosity while inviting opportunity and serendipity.
How miraculous is it that we are alive at this very moment? How did we come to be? Even I exist only through sheer randomness. When Castro came to power in Cuba, my grandparents recognized the danger and sent my mother and uncle to temporarily study in the United States. At that moment, my grandmother couldn't predict that my mother would never return, would marry an American, and eventually have four bilingual granddaughters.
We can only plan so much. What we can control is our attitude, our mindset, our perspective. This understanding liberates us. With less control comes less blame for failure and lower stakes.
It's also empowering because no moment is ever wasted. Every moment matters, causing ripple effects into the future. We control nothing yet influence everything, which inspires hope and belief in magic. When we believe in magic, anything becomes possible – even what lies beyond our current imagination and cognitive capacity.
The Beautiful Bizarreness of Life
We're all on this bizarre ride – swayed by coincidences, luck, and chance – and what a privilege to be here. Every moment influences the future in ways we cannot predict.
There's something deeply magical and inspiring about this reality that leads to happiness. It's not that nothing matters; it's that everything matters, even the tiniest things. Remembering this, our lives will always have meaning and importance.
So how do we retain the magic of Mardi Gras in our everyday lives? Perhaps it begins with opening ourselves to the unexpected, just as I did with my imperfect plan and cobbled crafty costume. Perhaps it means stepping outside despite the crowds, the weather, the inconvenience, ready to let the day unfold. The magic wasn't in the pink wig or parades, but in the willingness to be present, ready to receive whatever gifts chance might offer.
Questions to Dance With
When did you last experience something magical that wasn't planned? What conditions made that possible?
Which areas of your life feel overly controlled? What might happen if you loosened your grip?
How would your perspective shift if you viewed unexpected changes as doorways to magic rather than disruptions?
What would creating more space for serendipity look like in your daily routine?
We are all exactly where we need to be at this moment. The next step doesn't have to be perfectly planned – it just needs to be taken. In that space between intention and outcome, that's where the magic lives.